Heroes For Hire (2006 Series) #10

May 22, 2007

Quick Rating: Average
Rating: T+

Lost in the Savage Land!

Writer: Zeb Wells
Pencils: Clay Mann
Inks: Terry Pallot
Colors: Brad Anderson
Letters: Cory Petit
Editor: Mark Paniccia
Cover Art: Michael Golden
Publisher: Marvel Comics

The Heroes For Hire team has been thrown to the Savage Land and split up. Humbug has been carted off by giant insects, with Misty and Colleen trying to find him. Tarantula and Shang-Chi are having a little tryst by a waterfall, while Paladin has to patch up an unconscious Black Cat. And unbeknownst to anyone, Moon Boy and Devil Dinosaur are lurking nearby.

All of these disparate elements, ultimately, add up to one great big “meh.” So much of this story is pretty much just pieced together from other stories – everything from Honey, I Shrunk the Kids to Jurassic Park. The characters, meanwhile, are running true to stereotype, with chunks of the book being given up to such concepts as Shang-Chi beating himself up for betraying his “honor” to Black Cat automatically assuming Paladin was up to no good while she was unconscious (because pretty much everyone else could bandage a chest wound without removing a person’s clothes, right?).

The artwork by Clay Mann isn’t bad – his layouts are very good, although his figures are a bit sketchy at times.

It’s not that there’s necessarily anything wrong with this issue, it’s just that there’s nothing exciting about it either. Soap operas in comics can work. Books full of B-listers (or even C- and D-listers) can be fantastic if they’re written well. It’s just that the strong writing just isn’t applying here. This is a book that, to succeed, has to be a lot greater than the sum of its parts, and frankly, it just isn’t.

Rating: 5/10

Heroes For Hire (2007 Series) #13

September 11, 2007

Quick Rating: Below Average
Title: Incarceration (A World War Hulk tie-in)
Rating: T+

Captured by the Warbound – betrayed by Humbug!

Writer: Zeb Wells & Fred Van Lente
Pencils: Clay Mann & John Bosco
Inks: Terry Pallot
Colors: Brad Anderson
Letters: Joe Caramagna
Editor: Mark Paniccia
Cover Art: Sana Takeda
Publisher: Marvel Comics

Well, here we are. The infamous “tentacle rape” cover of Heroes For Hire. Is it tacky? Is it tasteless? Maybe. But one thing’s for sure – they’d better be grateful for it, because without that cover, there’d be nothing about this issue interesting enough to talk about.

The Heroes For Hire (in a move so ludicrous that one of them even points it out) followed their member Humbug into the Hulk-occupied Manhattan, where Colleen evidently slew an infant and covered the team in its blood to help them evade detection. Somehow, the aliens took offense to this and now have the team captured. They spend virtually the entire issue debating what to do with them – with each other, with the treacherous Humbug, and the team debates what to do amongst each other. I’ve got no problem with a talking heads issue, provided the heads in question are interesting. These aren’t.

The characters here are lifeless, and the fact that even they recognize they’ve got no business being involved with the Hulk’s storyline doesn’t make this any better.

Fred Van Lente and John Bosco bring us a back-up story – essentially, a sort of initiation of the Scorpion pre-World War Hulk. It’s a decent enough little story, although it feels somewhat out of place, as the only link to the main title is that it co-stars Paladin (and not in such a fashion that it feels like his story or his book). The art on this one isn’t as good as the main title, though – a little too angular for my tastes.

This issue falls short pretty much all over.

Rating: 4/10

Heroes For Hire (2006 Series) #8

March 26, 2007

Quick Rating: Average
Rating: T+

The team faces off with the Headsmen – and Paladin ponders a new offer.

Writer: Zeb Wells
Pencils: Al Rio
Inks: Scott Koblish
Colors: Brad Anderson
Letters: Joe Caramagna
Editor: Mark Paniccia
Cover Art: Billy Tucci, Mark Sparaccio, A. Crossley
Publisher: Marvel Comics

This issue the Heroes For Hire face off against some of the goofiest villains in Marvel Comics’ history (and for a company that produced the Hypno Hustler, that’s saying something). The trouble is, I’m not sure anyone told writer Zeb Wells that these villains aren’t exactly menacing, and he plays them far too heavily. The Headsmen are four villains with a single gimmick – wacky heads – and one of them has decided to transfer his head onto Humbug’s body. Shang-Chi and Orka are trying to stop the plot, but the headsmen have a convenient Doombot on their side.

The resulting scene is played entirely too heavily for a group with a member who has a mad scientist’s head grafted to a gorilla’s body and another member named “Ruby Thursday.” Shang-Chi loses it, the rest of the team pops in just a little too late and we’re drenched in schmaltz as one character professes his deep feelings for another. To a degree, I can appreciate the idea of using this title as a sort of nostalgia book for some of Marvel’s forgotten characters from the 70s – the concept is straight from that time period and many of the characters involved have an inherent goofiness to them — but in matters of tone and mood, the book is played completely, consistently wrong, and falls totally flat.

The artwork is a step up. Al Rio is quite competent in his storytelling and skilled with his fight scenes. Visually, the only real issue I have with this title is Misty’s costume and hairstyle, which go beyond the ugly right into the stereotypical, but I don’t think he’s to blame for that.

In a nutshell, uninteresting characters and poor execution – I blame no one who passes on this issue.

Rating: 5/10